Thank you for your help. Wow I am so happy. You are the greatest.
Thanks for all your help Zindi. When ever you and I had contact, you always made me feel like I was your only client.
I will call Patti sometime after I get moved.
Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!
Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.
The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another.
The directions said that:
A one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;
A two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and
A three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room...
If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer,
One note of caution:
There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
* My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace.
* The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
* My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
* My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
* I had no control over the drooling.
* Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
* I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid!!!!
Minot Daily News
Up here in the Northern part of North Dakota we just recovered from a Historic event --- may I even say a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" --- with a historic blizzard of up to 25' of snow and winds to 50 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to 10's of thousands.
Obama did not come.
FEMA did nothing.
No one howled for the government.
No one blamed the government.
No one even uttered an expletive on TV.
Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit.
Our Mayors did not blame Obama or anyone else.
Our Governor did not blame Obama or anyone else either.
CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX, or NBC did not visit - or even report on this category 5 snow storm.
Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.
No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House.
No one looted.
Nobody - I mean Nobody demanded the government do something.
Nobody expected the government to do anything either.
No Larry King, No Bill O'Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and No Geraldo Rivera.
No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand, No Brad Pitts, No Hollywood types to be found.
Nope, we just melted the snow for water.
Sent out caravans of SUV 's to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars.
The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn't ask for a penny.
Local restaurants made food, and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snow bound families..
Families took in the stranded people - total strangers.
We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns.
We put on an extra layers of clothes because up here it is "Work or Die".
We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes for ' sittin at home ' checks.
Even though a Category 5 blizzard of this scale is not usual, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.
I hope this gets passed on.
SOME people will get the message ......
The world does Not owe you a living.
Growing up in the South where family means everything, and then volunteering to serve my Country in the world’s finest Submarine Navy, I find it hard to believe that the American Dream has disappeared. I grew up wanting my own home, something that I could call mine, and I refuse to believe that my fellow Americans feel differently, yet the media would have us all live in fear. I for one refuse to live in fear and whole heartedly believe that this is quite possibly the best opportunity in the last 25 to 30 years to purchase real estate for long term purposes. I know that it stinks to be a Seller right now, but if you’re a Buyer with even $5000 down you can pick up an income generating rental property and be on your way to building your Real Estate Empire.
Compare the current housing market to stocks. If Microsoft or Apple suddenly fell to $50 per share, would we all refuse to ever buy that stock again or would we all jump up and grab as much of it as possible knowing that the value will come back? Warren Buffett would tell you that the smart choice would be to buy for the long term value. My advice is to stop spending on what you do not absolutely need, eat in not out, and save, save, save. Once you get this down you’ll notice your bank account start to grow and pretty soon you’ll have your first down payment. I have a client right now that is purchasing a $66k condo with $2100 down and the Seller is paying all of her closing costs. The total payment including principal, interest, taxes, and even the HOA is less than $550 per month. I mean really – where can you rent a decent apartment for that low of a monthly payment? She plans to live in it for one year, saving the difference between her former rent payment and new house payment each month, and then use those savings as a down payment on something a little bigger, brighter, and better.
What are your plans for the future? If it includes finally getting thru Xbox Modern Warfare without getting “killed” or finally getting 5000 friends on Facebook, then we needs to talk about your future.
It seems that two of the Realtors we worked with years ago were desperately trying to get their "In-House" Lender on the line this past Sunday, but of course that person wasn't answering. We took both the calls from each Realtor and realized that each were hosting their Open House events and had potential clients standing in front of them asking loan questions. After a few short questions and answers we were able to verbally verify income, asset, and employment credentials (stips to follow of course); walk each client thru the payment and cash to close scenarios available, all of which motivated each client to make an offer before the day was out.
What was your Bank/Credit Union Loan Officer doing for you this past weekend; watching football or working for you? Make one call, just one call, and watch your production this year soar - we double dog dare ya!!
The San Diego Chapter of LeTip are putting on a Mixer and we wanted to invite you (see attach flier with information). This is a great opportunity to make new business connections and fellowship with other LeTip members and their Guests. Think about it, for just $10 you'll find yourself in a room full of potential customers who are all there for noe reason - to shake your hand, learn about what it is you do, get your business card, and then either purchase your service/prodcut or refer their clients who need your service/product. If you happen to know someone who needs to increase their business feel frr to invite them as a Guest. For those of you who want to hit it hard and sponsor a table, drop me a line and I can get you set up.
Shoot me an email if you think you want to attend and I'll get your name over to our Regional so that you're good to go.
Although the media, and all of the “armchair quarterbacks”, will tell you to wait a bit longer until we hit bottom – I am here to tell you that we’re there. The word on the street is that major banking institutions have decided that they are not going to release their foreclosed properties in bulk and that they have decided to sell ‘em off one at a time because they can reap 10% to 20% more profit by doing it this way. What this means to you is that there will be no sudden influx of homes on the market driving the “supply” up and thereby driving the “demand” down. The effect is the exact opposite in that because supply is slowly dwindling therefore demand is actually increasing which drives the competition for quality homes thru the roof. Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of run down, purposefully beat-up homes out there (http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local-beat/Cop-Trashes-His-Million-Dollar-Home-104353638.html) but FHA and VA are going to challenge the Seller on the condition of those home and require repairs to be made – which the Seller certainly does not want to pay for. In recent months we’ve actually seen FNMA and FHMLC get tighter and tighter regarding the condition of the home you want to purchase, often mimicking the requirements of FHA and VA loans.
What does all of this mean to you? If you are interested at all in purchasing a property within the next millennium you should contact Casa Financial Services, Inc. to get either approved for a loan or at least put a plan together. I mean really, how much longer are you going to pay for your landlords property providing him/her with the profit, tax write off, etc…?
Give us a call at 619-644-8344 and ask for Brett or Zindi.
Refinance Your Mortgage — Save Money Every Month
"As a general rule of thumb, it's worth looking into refinancing if the going rate is 0.50 percent lower than your current mortgage if you plan to stay in your home," says Timothy McFarlin, a real estate lawyer based in Irvine, CA.